Oftentimes I hear small business owners and entrepreneurs say they don’t have time to read, because they have so many other commitments to tend to. I personally believe that’s a mistake. Tending to our craft is akin to watering our garden. And, I believe a mind is a terrible thing to waste. With so many cool technological options for consuming information, we have choices.

Recently I was asked, what magazines, newspapers, programming, and other information sources do I use to support my business and my mind? I personally read a variety of periodicals for my professional & personal development needs, which include legal, business, and coaching. The following are among what I find most useful each month:

1. An assortment of legal periodicals, books, and websites to stay on top of my craft as an IP business lawyer;
2. Non-legal include: Fortune, FORBES, PINK, Executive Summaries, CHOICE, & SPEAKER;
3. Relevant Webinars & Telecourses;
4. GOOGLE Alerts and blogs on a daily basis for topical information;
5. Crossword Puzzle books to keep my mind sharp and alert;
6. O-Magazine, MORE, and Real Simple for my personal development.

You might be thinking, “My God, when does she have time to work?” My answer to that is when I’m tending to the important aspects of my life (strengthening my mind, my body, and my spirit) I am able to do so much more, so much better. It’s amazing how that works.

Okay, what about you—what do you read or listen to, which keeps you on top of your game?

Family values. Christian values. Does that only apply when there is an election and you’re fighting to beat the Democrats? I am sick and tired of some religious and christian people giving God a bad name. It appears family values ONLY applies to the other side. Among the loudest voices against adultery, pornography, pedophilia, contraception, celebrities behaving badly, and overall disrespect of our nation’s core values are those who actually engage in such bad behavior on a regular basis. Think ex-congressman Mark Souder (one of many) who talks about being a church-going man, who prays several times a day, sings hymns and sleeps with his staffer–while married. It’s not terrorism that will kill us as a nation, it’s hypocisy, hedonism, and our own misdeeds.http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/06/16/mark-souder-interview-i-p_n_614258.html .

Are we a nation so adverse to walking the way we talk? When does the madness stop? And maybe it never will. Does everyone think, “do what you want and seek forgiveness later, rather doing the right thing the first time?”

Tonight I had a meeting with a group of women and we discussed a number of issues, including how we, as a culture, have become desensitized to inappropriate behavior. One women said she was in a public library the other day, and in the stacks, she saw two teens having sex on the floor. After she reported them, she felt bad, because she thought, what they did really wasn’t all that bad compared to things other kids do.

When we start to think that teenage kids having sex in a public place is an acceptable way to behave, I guess that says it all. Where are all the HEALTHY role models. Are we all afraid to stand up and be counted? Are we so afraid of not being liked that we don’t do our civic duty and protect our own? We gladly send boys and girls off to fight a war on terrorism to protect our nation from those who want to harm us. Yet, we continually allow the toxicity all around us–right here at home, to pervade the very fabric of our lives.

What do you think?

Last week I was in Boston for a talk. On the flight back home, as I often do, I assesd my experience of the event, including giving myself honest feedback as to what worked and what didn’t.

I realized, what made the experience so much fun for me was that I was able to connect with my audience–by being real. Sometimes it’s hard to come from a place of real authenticity, because we are often afraid of how we’ll be perceived. We want to look good and say just the right thing. Yet, everytime I have the courage to tell the truth about me and my experiences–the good and the not- so-good, the pretty and the not-so-pretty–people connect with me. And I know for me, when I’m listening to a speaker, while facts, resources, and other content is essential, what really captures my attention are the stories that I can relate to as a person.

What about you–what do you think makes a speech effective?

It’s an Esteemable Act to find what you’re called to do in this life. When we are doing what makes us happy and what brings purpose to our lives, we feel better about ourselves. The Foundation for a Better Life is my new favorite personal improvement resource. A personal tool for improving our lives.

Until the next time, live the the best life you can–one day at a time!

Since September 2009, there have been 6 student suicides  at Cornell University.  So the headlines say, “Cornell in Crisis!”  “All these students at Cornell taking their lives, likely due to depression because of the stress.” Cornell has taken affirmative action to help students stay healthy by spreading awareness about depression and ways to avert it.  But hold on, is it all the school’s fault?

The easiest thing in the world is to blame someone else for what happens to us and our families.  But what about the parents?  While no doubt, much stress comes from the the grueling academic calendar kids are expected to maintain, what part do the parents play?  I”d venture to say the real stress comes from the parents who undeniably and relentlessly push, and push, and push their kids to the point of exhaustion, and regretfully sometimes suicide.  

In my work with kids over the years, the early indicators of trouble are crystal clear.  As an outsider–I can see them; oftentimes the kids can see them too, but it’s the parents who miss the signals, or don’t care to see them.  Driven by the need for their kids to be perfect–for any number of reasons–and at all cost, parents compel their kids to straddle that thin and delicate line between healthy and unhealthy.  And, the disfunction doesn’t start when they go to college, it begins early in the child’s formative years. 

Kids as young as 9, 12, 15 are obessesd with being perfect, whether in how they look or how they perform in school.  Sadly, for most of them, that awful day of awakening will come when they realize that they aren’t perfect and never will be.  For many kids, this sets the stage for depression and a resort to drugs, alcohol, unhealthy sexual behaviors, and sometimes–suicide.  

If you find yourself in this spot, what can you do? Summon the courage to make an honest assessment of your life and the part you’ve played in the unfolding of this experience.   Tough request, but an important first step.

Until next time, I’m Breakthrough Life Coach, Francine Ward (www.esteemableacts.com)

I Love YOU What Love means to Children 4-8 years old . . Slow down for three minutes to read this. It is so worth it. Touching words from the mouth of babes. A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’ The answers they got were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined See what you think: ‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love..’ Rebecca- age 8 ‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’ Billy - age 4 ‘Love is when a girl puts on perfume and a boy puts on shaving cologne and they go out and smell each other.’ Karl - age 5 ‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.’ Chrissy - age 6 ‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’ Terri - age 4 ‘Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’ Danny - age 7 ‘Love is when you kiss all the time. Then when you get tired of kissing, you still want to be together and you talk more. My Mommy and Daddy are like that. They look gross when they kiss’ Emily - age 8 ‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’ Bobby - age 7 (Wow!) ‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,’ Nikka - age 6 (we need a few million more Nikka’s on this planet) ‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’ Noelle - age 7 ‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’ Tommy - age 6 ‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’ Cindy - age 8 ‘My mommy loves me more than anybody You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’ Clare - age 6 ‘Love i s when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’ Elaine-age 5 ‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy smelly and sweaty and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford.’ Chris - age 7 ‘Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day.’ Mary Ann - age 4 ‘I know my older sister loves me because she gives me all her old clothes and has to go out and buy new ones.’ Lauren - age 4 ‘When you love somebody, your eyelashes go up and down and little stars come out of you.’ (what an image) Karen - age 7 ‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy on the toilet and she doesn’t think it’s gross.’ Mark - age 6 ‘You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it. But if you mean it, you should say it a lot. People forget.’ Jessica - age 8 And the final one The winner was a four year old child whose next door neighbor was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy went into the old gentleman’s yard, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said to the neighbor, the little boy said, ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’ When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need. Take 60 seconds and give this a shot! All you do is simply say the following small prayer for the person who sent you this. Heavenly Father, please bless all my friends in whatever it is that You know they may be needing this day! And may their life be full of Your peace, prosperity and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with You. Amen. Then send it on to five other people, including the one who sent it to you. Within hours you caused a multitude of people to pray for other people. Then sit back and watch the power of God work in your life. P. S. Five is good, but more is better. God Bless You!

 

Do you ever think if you do the right thing it will not be appreciated? Well honesty really does pay off.  First, because you feel good about yourself, because you’ve done the right thing.  Secondly, because your behavior shows your kids–by example–how to behave rightly.  Third, because every now and then the recipient of your good works will say, “Thank you.”  It’s the little things we do that help to build your self esteem. 

Safeway discovered that they have many honest customers, http://www.wtop.com/?nid=25&sid=1885807 . Safeway, I’m sure, will appreciate those great customers by doing something nice for them–especially since they know who those custoners are through the security videos.

Until next time,  do the right thing and appreciate those who do! 

It’s easy to say, “go for your dreams and set new goals,” but how do you figure out what they are? Here is a really simple process for identifying your personal goals and business goals for this year.  In figuring out how to set goals, ask yourself following questions:

If I could, what one thing would I like to do this year?

1.            Is there a place I’d like to visit

2.            Is there someone I’d like to see this year

3.            Is there a bad habit that I’m finally ready to break, e.g., smoking, drinking, using drugs, being mediocre, drinking too much soda, debting, interrupting people when they talk

4.            Is there a new habit I’d like to put into practice e.g., exercising more regularly, watching less television, being kinder to my partner, being grateful

5.            Is there someone I’d like to meet this year

6.            Is there a new skill I’d like to learn, e.g., learn to dance, learn to sing, learn Facebook, explore the Second Life

7.            Is there something I’d like to buy, e.g., a new computer, a new house, new car, new dress, Persian cat

8.            Is there something I really want to do, e.g., reduce debt, pay off a particular debt, get involved in a charity, dance more, making new friends, get involved in your community

9.            … the list goes on …

 

Goal setting and goal planning are never as difficult as we want to make it.  If we break our actions into tiny manageable pieces, we can baby step our way to success.  Okay, so this week, all I want you to do is answer just one of the questions above—that’s all.

Some wise person once told me that God’s gift to me is my life, and my gift to God is what I do with it.  Go on, make this is a great week—I dare you!

Until next week, enjoy your journey!

 

 

 

 

As we quickly approach 2010, it’s time to plan for the next 12-months ahead.  Some of you may be discouraged because you didn’t accomplish your stated goals for this past year.  Others of you may be reluctant to set a plan in motion, for fear that this upcoming year will yield the same negative results as the last.  My simple advice is, “Don’t give up before the miracle!” 

How easy it is to throw in the towel–to give up when you are faced with one obstacle after another.  To give up when something or someone always seems to stand between you and your heart’s desire.  But as long as you are breathing, you have a chance to create a better experience the next time around. I know that  from a first-hand, very painful experience.

It was 1990 and I had failed the New York Bar exam–one more time. I had worked so hard to get into, and out of law school, only to find that I couldn’t past the most important test of them all–the Bar!  I felt so stupid; so humiliated; so ashamed, and I wanted to give up.  But something inside wouldn’t let me .  I choose to call it God, but in fact, God worked through the many people who encouraged, inspired, and motivated me not to give up before the miracle. Hearing their stories of success through failure got me to the next level.

Every time I reached a goal, even a mini goal I felt a little bit better about myself.  Hence my discovery that self esteem comes from doing Esteemble Acts, and it’s an Esteemable Act to live out your dreams. 

So do me a favor. Today I want you to have the courage to not give up–even if you’ve given up before. Let’s act as if this is the first time you’re going for the goal.

Today I want you to dream–dream as big as  you can, or as small as you want–but dream! Think of something you want to do, be, or have.  That’s yoiur task for this week–just dream.

Until next time, stretch beyond your comfort zone and then stretch just a little bit more.

This morning on The Early Show there was a segment with noted Forensic Psychiatrist Michael Welner. He spoke about the death of Ryan Jenkins, a former reality show personality, who had brutally killed and mutilated his wife’s body. While the interviewer tried her best to make it about mental illness, Dr. Wellner, in my opinion, appropriately called it what it was–the result of our culture’s obsession with being seen and known.

As Dr. Welner stated, we teach people how to commit crimes and then cover them up. We celebrate the personality who is willing to do ANYTHING to be on television.  He goes on to say, that “those who seek to be a part of “Reality Shows have an emptiness inside they need to fill.”

What do you think?

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